Neji's Hair
by Fire and Sand
Summary: Neji never noticed it before that day. Now, you can know the truth! Why did Neji changed his appearance? What made him do it? Exclusive interview inside. Oneshot.


Fire: This is another Naruto oneshot. Read this and laugh! We really have nothing to say, so go to the exclusive interview with Neji below for thoughts about this story.

Sasuke: Where's my exclusive interview?

Fire: Um…maybe later?

Sasuke: (sighs) I know you're lying.

Fire: Anyway, Sand and I were wondering why Neji's hair changed so drastically, so we asked him and came up with this story. Now on with the interview!

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Fire: Our guest today is Hyuuga Neji. Say hi to the audience.

Neji: (frowns) I'm not doing something so stupid.

Fire: But um…you agreed to the interview, Neji.

Neji: (annoyed) Don't call me so informally. You don't know _me_.

Fire: Um…Neji-kun, can you please tell us about your hair? Is there a reason why you changed it, and your clothes?

Neji: Personal reasons.

Fire: … (sweats) Isn't there anything more to that?

Neji: (eyes turn Byakugan) Are you implying something?

Fire: (sweating more profusely) Um…no! Nothing at all! Well, I think it's best that we just go straight to the story, so here it is!

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Legend:

normal text

"spoken text"

'_thoughts'_

_flashbacks_

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**Neji's Hair**

**A Joint Project**

**Produced by Fire**

**Directed by Sand**

**Oneshot**

**T**he sound of fighting always filled that area of Konohagakure no Sato. In the training grounds, it was a constant, and that day wasn't an exception. Akamaru soared through the air before smacking against a tree. Neji's Kaiten was even more formidable than it was when they chased after Sasuke. Kiba laughed in spite of standing at the edge of defeat. Soon. Soon now. Neji was going to fall!

"Neji! Don't lose to a boy and his dog!" Tenten yelled from her side of the training grounds. Even though she was in the middle of her own battle, she didn't have anything to fear from her opponent.

Neji smirked. His opponent was arrogant for such a weak man. "A loser like you has no chance of defeating a genius." He was stronger than him. He would definitely win!

That was when he heard it. "Oi! Hinata!" Shikamaru's voice came from the other side of the training grounds, and Neji turned his gaze in time to see the chuunin waving his hand at him, then Kiba kicked him in the head. "Good luck on your–" Shikamaru blinked. "Oh. It's just Neji."

"Neji? Isn't that the guy who fought Naruto?" Temari tried to remember, but all she could see was a girl with long brown hair.

"Neji-kun, you let your guard down," Lee said as he walked up, his body a black undulating mass of bugs. Shino had...gone easy on him...and used the bugs who ate chakra. It was a good thing that Lee had no chakra otherwise he would have been... He would have died. "What happened?"

Tenten cringed at the sight of the walking bug pile. Everyone had stopped at Shikamaru's shout, except for Kiba. "Ha! You're not so great now!" He was still stomping on Neji.

Annoyed, Neji smacked Kiba away with a jyuuken hand. _'I...'_ His hands reached up, nervously touching his head, his face, his cheeks. _'I don't look anything like Hinata-sama!'_ He didn't look like a girl...right?

Temari and Shikamaru stopped in front of the crowd. "Ah...Neji, gomen. I thought you were–"

Neji grabbed Shikamaru by the vest, lifting him slightly off the ground. _'Kill Shikamaru. Kill Shikamaru.'_ His eyes slowly grew into byakugan. _'I don't look like Hinata-sama!'_

Gai grabbed the brown-haired chuunin from Neji's hand before he could kill him. "It wasn't an insult, Neji!"

"Hmm..." Kurenai walked up to Neji and looked closely at the boy. He backed away from the woman, but she still stared avidly. The red-eyed woman had never really examined him before, but he really _did_ look like Hinata.

Temari stared for a moment before pulling her fan from her back. Everyone took a cautious step back before she stuck it in the ground. "I know!" She pulled off the sash she used to carry her fan. At that moment, everyone took a step away from Neji. "This should help!" She wrapped the sash around Neji's head. "Kawaii-da!" She sounded really happy. "You make a really pretty girl!"

She knew he was a guy, but she couldn't help it. Gaara and Kankurou didn't let her dress them up. She remembered trying to dress them up. It wasn't a good idea.

_Temari was seven when her desire for sisters rose. It was natural, especially when she only had brothers. "Gaara-chan!" That was why she wanted to dress them up. "Gaara-chan!" She held up the dress. "Let's–"_

_Gaara's sand barrier rose around the redhead, knocking Temari back. The answer was no. Even though he said nothing, the answer was no. "Yashamaru! Temari-neechan's bullying me!" The five-year-old ran down the hall toward their uncle._

_Temari sighed at the blood pouring from her hand. The sand was still lashing angrily at her. It knew that if it backed down, she would run after him again. That only left one option. She wasn't going to give up!_

"_Kankurou" she sang as she pulled the backup dress from her kunai pouch. The dress for Gaara was definitely too small for her other brother...especially with the extra weight he had put on from eating the newest food from somewhere she had never heard of before, hamburgers. Okay. It wasn't exactly new, but Kankurou couldn't stop eating them. "Neesan has a present for you!" She turned and pulled the door to Kankurou's room open._

"_What is it Temari?" Kankurou turned, his face painted with strange kabuki makeup that he didn't have that morning when they were training. His hands were tilted at strange angles, a vial of bubbling liquid in one hand and an arm in the other. There was something boiling in front of him and the scattered heads on the ground were staring at her. For some reason–either because Kankurou was too lazy to switch on the lights or because only the lights in his room weren't working for an eerie unknown reason–the room was dark, casting his face in freaky shadows._

"_Uh..." Temari backed away from the room. "N-nothing," she stammered as she closed the door on that perverse dimension._

_Temari blinked at the closed door, trying to wipe that image from her mind before she was brought to reality again. Thankfully._

"_If you want to dress someone in a dress," Yashamaru said as he walked up with a lightly breathing Gaara in his arms. "You shouldn't pick on your brothers, Temari-chan." The man always had a gentle aura around him. He was somewhat annoyed since Gaara came bawling and waving sand all around him, but he had cried himself to a calm state once more, and there was no real harm done. Except for some scars that might manifest themselves later in psychotic behaviour...but he didn't want to think about what he would do to his siblings later on. _

"_But I want a little sister, Yashamaru-san!" Temari was annoyed. No one would let her dress them up. Baki had allowed her to paint his nails, but he refused to wear a dress or let her remove his headdress. "I have such pretty dresses too!" She held up the dress._

"_Ah..." Yashamaru looked apologetically at the dress. "Well, if you want, I can wear a dress, Temari-chan." And he smiled so seriously too!_

Temari groaned slightly at the memory. Yashamaru looked too convincing in a dress. Just like...

Her eyes fell on the pearly-eyed young man. "I want a sister!" She hugged Neji tightly. She wasn't going to let him go. She wasn't going to let him go ever!

"N-nani?" Neji pushed the blond woman away, even though her hands were still latched tightly around his wrists. He couldn't even hit her with Jyuuken.

"Now that I think about it..." Tenten stared at Neji. "You're from the same family."

"You have the same eyes," Shino said plainly as he drew his bugs back from Lee's body before he could squish them with his careless movements.

"Yosh! Neji-kun portrays the perfect image of youth!" Lee shouted, tightening his fists and accidentally squishing a few bugs in his excitement. "The perfect youthful GIRL!"

"Ah..." Shino stared at Lee. He was too late! Slowly, Shino sank into the background. _'I failed you all,'_ he mourned.

"Ano..." Hinata stared at Neji. _'Neji-niisan looks like...' _She was fighting Tenten, but no one seemed to notice her presence yet. "Eto..." She couldn't say it! Were they saying that she looked like a man!

"You know, from far away, you really do look like Hinata," Kiba said, serious for once. He remembered once, when he was supposed to meet everyone at the training grounds. He had thought that Neji was Hinata at that time too. "Right, Akamaru?"

"Arf!" Which translated to, _'They even have similar scents since they live in the same house, grew up in the same area and have the same bloodline. If they weren't different genders, they would smell exactly the same!'_

"It's probably the hair," Kurenai said as she looked closely at his hair. "They're both dark so it's hard to tell you two apart at night."

"It's day!" Neji shouted as he tried to pull the sash from his head. But somehow, his chakra couldn't push the annoying thing off at all. Temari was still joyfully holding his wrists.

"Hinata's hair is growing. It's about the same length now," Lee said, noticing Hinata standing next to Tenten for the first time that day. He knew she was supposed to be nearby, but she really scared him. He had thought there was a mirror in the training grounds and he was looking at Neji's reflection. "Maybe you should cut your hair."

"Good suggestion, Lee!" Gai shouted, pulling a thumb's up at Neji. "A new haircut can give you a new youthful look! Grow more handsome with our haircut!" He flashed a blinding smile at his student as he gestured at his and Lee's hair.

Neji deflated. "No," he said with a half-groan. A bowl-cut. He definitely didn't want that.

"A new sister! A new sister!" Temari sang as she hugged Neji again. She could finally realize her dream of having a sister! "I can braid your hair with..." She tried to think of what girls would do in that instant. "...ribbons!"

The whole training ground grew silent. There were only the frightened flapping of birds' wings.

Shikamaru backed away from Temari. His hair was long-ish too. With this startling strange personality–which he had never, EVER seen before today–Temari might grab him and pull _him _into a beauty salon. "Um...Temari?" He had no idea what was wrong with her. A few moments ago, she had wanted to see the training grounds and was the regular tough girl he had gotten to know since the chuunin exams. This new girl was scaring him. _'Ribbons?'_ Now he was going to have the image of Neji with his hair braided with ribbons stuck in his head for the rest of the day...at least. _'Mendokuse.'_

"I..." Neji finally wrenched a hand out of Temari's grasp. He pulled a lock of hair into view. "I..." He didn't look like Hinata! He didn't! "I don't look like Hinata-sama!"

"What are you talking about?" Kiba stared at Neji. "_I _thought you were a girl. If you didn't have that deep voice–you know, if you had something cuter like Hinata's–you'd be a pretty okay girl."

Neji backed away. These people were crazy! "I don't look anything like–"

"Hey! Hinata!" Sakura shouted as she ran up. "Tsunade-shishou finally gave me a break!" She waved to the crowd...

...instantly catching Neji's attention. _'Hinata?'_ He stared paranoidly at the girl. _'Is she calling me?'_ She was running right toward him! "I'm not Hinata-sama!" He pulled his other hand away from Temari, wrenching the girl forwards as he ran away. He threw the sash forcefully to the ground as he vanished into the distance.

Sakura stopped next to Hinata. "What's wrong with him?"

"Ano..." Hinata blushed. She didn't even know where to start.

**N**eji sat in his room and stared at his hair. He wasn't going to cut it. The horror of a bowl-cut was still in his mind. As far as he was concerned, that wasn't an option. Besides, it was a tradition in the family to have long hair. All the men had hair like this. His father had hair like this. No. That wasn't going to happen.

'_I don't look like Hinata-sama,'_ he thought as he frowned at himself. Was it the clothes? He should change his clothes. More traditional clothes might help. Neji walked to his closet and pulled out a few kimonos. That should do it.

But the hair... They said a lot about his hair.

Neji's gaze fell on the towel he had thrown carelessly on the table after returning from the training grounds. _'I don't look like Hinata-sama.'_ He pulled it up and wrapped it around his head. He hadn't had a chance to look at himself.

He turned slowly toward the mirror.

"Waah!" He threw the towel to the ground. _'I... I really...'_ He shook his head free of the image. He definitely needed to change his hair! He needed to look more like a man!

"What are you doing, Neji?" Hiashi stood at the door to his nephew's room. He had felt the slam of Neji's bedroom door from the other side of the house. "Don't break down my house."

Neji stared at his uncle. "Sumi...masen." Long hair. Looks like him. Obviously male. _'That's it!'_ He needed to change his hair to look like that! He didn't even have to cut it!

**L**ee stared at the sky. He stared at the ground. He looked around the training grounds. "Does anyone else feel guilty?" He looked at the people left around him. Neji had stormed away with such determination that no one had any idea what he was going to do.

"Bowl-cut?" Hinata suggested, drawing the image instantly into everyone's minds.

"No." Everyone shook their heads collectively. That was too scary, and even Gai had shivers running down his spine from the idea of Neji with short hair.

"A dress!" Temari said enthusiastically. She remembered her memories, although she hadn't said it out loud. Everyone was staring at her as if she was a big, fuzzy, purple weasel sitting in a chair and drinking tea.

"Uh...no," Shikamaru said slowly. He didn't know Neji that well, but even he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Blond hair?"

Everyone stared at Kurenai. She had said that his hair was dark, the same as Hinata's. At night, they could be mistaken for each other. So, the only way around it would be to bleach his hair blond.

"Wouldn't that make him look even more like a girl?" Kiba suggested to the general silence.

"Arf!" Translated, that was, _'like Ino!'_

Kiba nodded in agreement. "Yes, just like Ino."

"Didn't you say he smells like Hinata too?" Tenten asked Kiba. She distinctly remembered it.

Sakura stared at the people around her. She had no idea what they said to Neji, but it sounded pretty bad. "How do you change someone's smell?"

"Perfume?" Kurenai said slowly.

Gai backed away from Kurenai. "That's for women! It's not youthful for men!"

"Men wear cologne, Kurenai-sensei," Shino said.

"That would make him even more like a girl!" Tenten shouted, annoyed at everyone. Neji would never do anything like that!

"Everyone's still standing here?" Neji's voice drew everyone's curious gazes. "What are you talking about? What would make who even more like a girl?"

'_Dyed hair?'_ Kurenai turned slowly to see if it was true.

'_Bowl-cut?'_ Hinata shook as her curiosity slowly turned her body.

'_Dress?'_ Temari was more excited than the rest of them, although she wasn't too sure if she wanted to see a man in a dress now that she had time to think about it. What if he had chosen a really ugly dress?

'_Perfume?'_ Kiba and Akamaru sniffed the air. They didn't smell anything different. It still smelled like Neji.

"What's everyone staring at?" Neji slowly grew annoyed as everyone finally turned to face him. _'What a bunch of idiots!'_ They had actually put themselves on real-life slow motion. It was so obvious.

"NEJI-KUN!" Lee shouted happily as he leapt at him. "You didn't change at all!"

Neji smashed Lee to the ground and ground his foot into his back. He didn't change at all? What was that supposed to mean? _'I still look like Hinata-sama?'_ He had taken so much care to change his hair. He thought he looked just like Hiashi now!

"You didn't dye your hair," Kurenai sighed in relief. That would have been horrific. At least she didn't have to worry about nightmares for now.

"Neji-niisan..." Hinata said happily. He didn't cut his hair after all.

"I guess that kimono sort of looks like a dress," Temari said as she examined the new clothes. Although she still wanted to braid his hair with ribbons...

"Temari, we should go. You're supposed to be working," Shikamaru said as he pulled the woman away. If they didn't leave soon, she was going to jump on him and braid his hair. Now that it was tied looser, it was even more tempting to touch. And if they left now, they wouldn't remember that this all started because of him.

"Nani? But I want to– Shikamaru!"

"What are you sniffing me for?" Neji glared at the dog. If Akamaru was still small, he wouldn't have minded as much, but he was already four times his size during the chuunin exams, and he was still growing. It was unsettling to have a giant nose nudge his side.

"You're not wearing perfume?" Kiba asked so plainly that Neji was afraid to ask about it.

Lee sat up, dusting his body of the dirt. "Neji-kun! You changed your..." He looked at the overall image.

"We could have given you THIS!" Gai shouted enthusiastically as he pulled out an extra green jumpsuit, miraculously in Neji's size.

'_I can't believe he's bringing this up again,'_ Neji groaned internally as he tried to ignore his sensei. He remembered their first formal day of training. Only Lee had agreed to wear the ugly thing. "Don't even ask."

"Why did you change your look, Neji-kun?" Lee stared obliviously at the Hyuuga genius. He had completely forgotten about what had happened earlier. "Now you–"

"I said don't ask!" Neji glared at his teammate. He wasn't going to say that he wanted to look more like a man. At least now no one could say he looked like Hinata-sama. "Let's continue!" He turned to Kiba and Akamaru. He still remembered their kick to his head.

'_Why can't he just say that he wanted to change his style and look more like a man?'_ Sakura thought as she watched the strange Hyuuga leap at Kiba again. Everyone had forgotten that she was standing there.

"But..." Lee said slowly as he turned to Sakura. Sakura would definitely listen to him. "...now Neji-kun looks just like Hiashi-san."

At that Sakura stared. She had to agree. Lee was right. And that was even scarier.

0o0o0o0

**Omake: The Other Suggestions for a New Wardrobe**

**or**

**What Could Have Happened Later**

"**O**hayo!" Kakashi greeted happily as he appeared between the two sparring boys. He had heard about Neji's dilemma from Shikamaru and Temari. The Suna kunoichi's complaints were ringing throughout the entire village. "Mask?" He held up an ANBU mask, although Neji wasn't a part of the ANBU. "Um...turtleneck?" He held up one of his spare shirts. Kakashi had always just pulled his turtleneck over the bottom half of his face. "Or..." He rummaged in his kunai pouch. "...headdress?" He could look just like Baki. "Join the masked club!"

Kiba and Neji backed away from Kakashi. "Uh...no thanks." Neji didn't even know there was a masked club!

"Kabuki makeup?" Kankurou suddenly appeared behind Neji, holding up a makeup kit. "You can look as cool as me!"

"Or cooler!" Naruto grinned with a brush in his hand. It was hard to paint the makeup on his own face for the ninja registration photo, but it should be easier to do it for someone else!

"Permanent tattoos," Gaara said plainly, his sand swirling around.

Neji broke out in cold sweat. It was bad enough to look like Kankurou, but to have 'ai' tattooed on his forehead was another thing. He already had a caged bird seal. He didn't want another tattoo. He turned to the right to run.

"I _can _make you look younger, or older," Tsunade said as she appeared on his right. Her hands already glowed with Shosen Jutsu. "I'm good at genjutsu. I can teach you how to keep your looks."

Neji backed away. Even the Hokage sounded crazy! He turned to his left for freedom from fashion hell.

"Or you could have a new face, Neji-kun," Orochimaru said from the other side of the training grounds, on Neji's left. He had pulled off his face and was walking around with Genyumaru's appearance. He reached forwards for Neji's face.

Neji backed away from the reaching hand. "Um...no thanks," he said quickly before turning and running away. He might still look like a girl, but at least he looked normal. _'I definitely don't want to look like a freak!'_

"Then, how about a kasa, yeah?" Deidara yelled as Neji ran past. "Or a black Akatsuki cloak?" He raised his sleeves enthusiastically.

But Neji didn't stop to listen to the strange man. He continued running. _'Then I'd definitely look like a freak!'_

**End Oneshot**

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Fire again…

Fire: If you're confused about what was written at the beginning of the story about producers and directors, I'm just going to put it on the user profile page. I don't want to explain it again. It gets repetitive. So, for those of you who want to know, go there!

Sasuke: That makes this easier.

Fire: Yes, it does. Now send in your reviews before I have a mental breakdown. I want to read it while I'm still sane.

Sasuke: That's an understatement.

Fire: And if anyone was confused about the use of chakra and jyuuken, here's a brief explanation of how we decided to write it like this.

Neji: It's difficult to release chakra from remote areas of the body like my head; hence, I had difficulty pushing it off with just my chakra. I trained to release chakra from all over my body at once, not to release chakra from wherever I want, whenever I want. (manga chapter 101, anime episode 61)

Sasuke: Now tell us why you didn't just kick Temari away and run.

Neji: Hey! You try to think properly when you find out you look like a girl and people are surrounding you from all sides, talking to you all at once!

Sasuke: …

Fire: You didn't have to yell at Sasuke.

Neji: (annoyed, speaking in a very low voice) I was distracted, that's all.

Fire: Anymore questions?

Sasuke: (shakes his head) No.

Neji: I'm not answering anymore questions, even if you do!

Hinata: Ano…the omake makes no sense.

Sasuke: It's an omake! It's not supposed to make sense!

Hinata: (squeaks in fear and runs behind Neji) …

Neji: Don't yell at Hinata-sama!

Sasuke: I hate you too!

Fire: (ignoring the bickering) And that's it! Ja! We'll see you in the next window! (waves frantically)

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